answering the door when you’re home alone like
The ultimate dad joke compilation
I just want someone to buy me pizza and give me $1500 weekly.
i’m going to make a blog called so-unrelatable and i’m just going to go through really obscure tags reblogging things like “does anyone else hate it when you’re going antiquing and you drop your vibrator into a priceless arabesque vase and the entire table starts bumpin and you just gotta be like Oh My God These Antiques Are Haunted”
if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock